I have learned that the best way to get someone to lose interest in a food is by oversating. I confess I over Doritoed my son ad nauseum.  He just loved them. My plan was to buy in bulk and I did this over and over again. The other kids in the neighborhood came around for the Dorito experiment and partook in my largesse.  Doritos showed up at lunch, after school, parties at the house and so on. He now quietly removes them from his lunch box or gifts them to his buddies during lunch.

Now that I have broken him of the corn chip addiction I find myself in a more difficult spot trying to come up with alternatives. Hoisted by my own petard as it were, I went through a series of emotions. To review the situation: I originally was happy to find something that he liked to eat though they were expensive and I did not enjoy shelling out the money for them.

A new wrinkle in the daily functions of our routine. What was once a simple task has taken on deep implications. I am now happy he is over the craze buy I'm stuck with a question mark as to what to include in his lunch box that he will eat.What would you like in your lunch box dear? Grapes, p&j, apple juice. How about a Table Talk blueberry pie? No thanks as he hangs his head. Why? I thought you liked them. I do but the other kids don't. I ask myself, what do the other kids have to do with this?  We trade food, he tells me.

Lots of questions pop into my noggin. Is he eating a balanced lunch? Does he sense my ambivalence over this food thing? Does he feel disappointed over not having appropriate trading food?  I came to the realization that this has less to do with food appreciation and more to do with peer approval, feeling liked, and bringing in what his pals like. I get it.

School days are upon us and as caretakers of the lunch box we must take into consideration other children's influence on our own. Off he goes in the early A.M., pants too big and draped at the legs, lunch box in hand, book bag strapped off one shoulder, he's a vision of pride heading to an institution of higher learning ready to sponge up all the news dealt to him by the imparters of knowledge and to take in some socialization skills. He has grasped onto a simple lesson. There is power in knowledge and power in the peer group.  Doritos have begun to show up in his lunch box once again.  He still contends he is not a fan but his lunchmates like them. I've done my job.

Solitude and holidays

The Thanksgiving holidays have just ended with much hoopla, overeating, fuss and bother. My adult children spent the actual day at their in-laws and informed me that they would be coming to my place on Friday, the day after Thanksgiving.  Anything my two dear, dear children say is fine with me and I will accommodate them any way possible, so I pulled out all the stops and put on a spread that would rival the Pilgrim's original event.

 However, there is one issue that I feel incumbent on me to address. There was some obligation on the kid's part to pay a visit to me since I was all alone and in their estimation in need of company because it was a holiday.   I heard this story from other people who reported feeling coerced into spending the holiday in the company of relatives, friends, casual acquaintances, anyone so as not to be alone.  When it comes to holidays, there seems to be a stigma against  solitude.

Yes, we are social human beings but what is so wrong with solitude during the holidays?  What is so wrong with us determining our own who, what, why, when, where and with whom? One man told me he had to appear at his sibling's house and did so to show his face and keep peace. In actuality he would have preferred his TV programs, his animals, his speciality food and his solitude.  Another reporter said that she did not want to travel and accepted a gracious invite from her landlord. She was able to set the time limit of her visit and showed up in comfy slippers and casual attire.

A message to those folks who feel extreme sensitivity and pity toward others who have no where to go and no one to visit during the holidays: Listen to us when we tell you that we don't look forward to the noise, excessive food and overeating. If I sound like a social misfit, then so be it. There seems to be a growing number of folks who want to have the holidays their way, in solitude. Nothing wrong with that.