DEATH MATTERS

To say I know about this one is a misconception of grand proportions- this one is a biggie for sure.  We’re all heading there, wherever there is.  Yes, all of us. There I said it, but many of us from our generation and our parent’s generation are in denial about this well proven fact of life - or death.   Charles from __________expounds, ‘each time a relative or acquaintance dies, I swear I will address my own concerns about burial, speak to my children, although the kids have difficulty addressing the topic too. 

We need not delay these dicey, hard to face arrangements for the last minute. The decision on how to handle my arrangements for life support, burial, where, when, how, why, - ah, not why, or when for that matter-  must come from me alone.  My children have already balked at some of my decisions, but after all is said and done and I am gone, THEY RESERVE THE RIGHT TO DO WHAT IN THE HELL THEY WANT -WHAT, AM I TO COMPLAIN?  I think not! Maybe not such a good idea to mention hell and death in the same breath. I’m putting it all out there for public consumption. So feast on this.

So folks, what are your plans?  They are certainly subject to change, at least put them down on paper before there is no subject to change.

don't sweat the small stuff

Many of us have heard the expression 'don't sweat the small stuff and it's all small stuff', but I contend that the small stuff can do you in. Case in point. The kitchen is an alluring place and we can all vouch for that. The kitchen can also double as a place that requires much work and maintenance.

This has to do with a dishwasher. The dishwasher soap dispenser sticks and does not snap open to allow the detergent out to clean the dishes. I counted 17 minutes exactly when the trap door would make a snap sound signifying that the soap contraption was attempting to open, then I would open the door manually and snap open the soap dispenser. Contemplating buying a new machine I decided first to do some digging.  I saw that the door was clogged with hardened black gunk that had accumulated over the years. It was nasty. I worked for days on an unclogging mission and reached success. Temporarily, that is. When I decided to sit back the do-hickey got stuck once again.

One cold more like frigid day last week, the dishwasher plain stopped. I went on a search mission for a new machine but decided I would bail the water out this one time and try the machine again. Evidently the pipes were frozen (as was the toilet, but that is another story) and the machine decided to cut me a break and start. I was gleeful and expired a sigh of relief.

I'm not sitting back on my laurels though, to forestall getting caught off guard, my intentions are to continue to look for deals on dishwashers and toilets, the water saver ones.

life's little pleasures

Without further ado I present a list of the myriad ways to say thanks and offer up a smile.
1. watching clothes dance about on a clothesline in the wind
2. sailing down the road in a car on green lights only.
3. libraries
4. being content with minimal needs
5. car starting in frigid temperatures
6. a tire that goes flat after you have reached home
7. major car repairs that you incur after you reach home from a long road trip
8. membership in AAA
9. long lasting friendships
10. spirited one time interactions with salesclerks, strangers, and the such
11. pets
12. chocolates
13. trees, flowers, gardens
14. a gift you chose that awed the donee
15. happy, healthy, successful children
16. living along a bus route
17. friendly neighbors who respect your privacy
18. mortgage free living space
19. indoor plants that you don't kill
20. works of art
21. smell, sight, touch, hearing, taste
22. relatives who look out for your back
23. good health at a ripe old age
24. storage space
25. foods without preservatives
26. foods not genetically modified
27. a good book
28. a good movie
there are more and I'll get back to them another time
add some to your hearts content

I have learned that the best way to get someone to lose interest in a food is by oversating. I confess I over Doritoed my son ad nauseum.  He just loved them. My plan was to buy in bulk and I did this over and over again. The other kids in the neighborhood came around for the Dorito experiment and partook in my largesse.  Doritos showed up at lunch, after school, parties at the house and so on. He now quietly removes them from his lunch box or gifts them to his buddies during lunch.

Now that I have broken him of the corn chip addiction I find myself in a more difficult spot trying to come up with alternatives. Hoisted by my own petard as it were, I went through a series of emotions. To review the situation: I originally was happy to find something that he liked to eat though they were expensive and I did not enjoy shelling out the money for them.

A new wrinkle in the daily functions of our routine. What was once a simple task has taken on deep implications. I am now happy he is over the craze buy I'm stuck with a question mark as to what to include in his lunch box that he will eat.What would you like in your lunch box dear? Grapes, p&j, apple juice. How about a Table Talk blueberry pie? No thanks as he hangs his head. Why? I thought you liked them. I do but the other kids don't. I ask myself, what do the other kids have to do with this?  We trade food, he tells me.

Lots of questions pop into my noggin. Is he eating a balanced lunch? Does he sense my ambivalence over this food thing? Does he feel disappointed over not having appropriate trading food?  I came to the realization that this has less to do with food appreciation and more to do with peer approval, feeling liked, and bringing in what his pals like. I get it.

School days are upon us and as caretakers of the lunch box we must take into consideration other children's influence on our own. Off he goes in the early A.M., pants too big and draped at the legs, lunch box in hand, book bag strapped off one shoulder, he's a vision of pride heading to an institution of higher learning ready to sponge up all the news dealt to him by the imparters of knowledge and to take in some socialization skills. He has grasped onto a simple lesson. There is power in knowledge and power in the peer group.  Doritos have begun to show up in his lunch box once again.  He still contends he is not a fan but his lunchmates like them. I've done my job.

Solitude and holidays

The Thanksgiving holidays have just ended with much hoopla, overeating, fuss and bother. My adult children spent the actual day at their in-laws and informed me that they would be coming to my place on Friday, the day after Thanksgiving.  Anything my two dear, dear children say is fine with me and I will accommodate them any way possible, so I pulled out all the stops and put on a spread that would rival the Pilgrim's original event.

 However, there is one issue that I feel incumbent on me to address. There was some obligation on the kid's part to pay a visit to me since I was all alone and in their estimation in need of company because it was a holiday.   I heard this story from other people who reported feeling coerced into spending the holiday in the company of relatives, friends, casual acquaintances, anyone so as not to be alone.  When it comes to holidays, there seems to be a stigma against  solitude.

Yes, we are social human beings but what is so wrong with solitude during the holidays?  What is so wrong with us determining our own who, what, why, when, where and with whom? One man told me he had to appear at his sibling's house and did so to show his face and keep peace. In actuality he would have preferred his TV programs, his animals, his speciality food and his solitude.  Another reporter said that she did not want to travel and accepted a gracious invite from her landlord. She was able to set the time limit of her visit and showed up in comfy slippers and casual attire.

A message to those folks who feel extreme sensitivity and pity toward others who have no where to go and no one to visit during the holidays: Listen to us when we tell you that we don't look forward to the noise, excessive food and overeating. If I sound like a social misfit, then so be it. There seems to be a growing number of folks who want to have the holidays their way, in solitude. Nothing wrong with that.

name tags

The other day I saw a rather large seated man sprouting a soft blue short sleeve button up shirt. It looked new and crisp. As he moved his fork to his mouth lifting his arm in the process, a store tag appeared from under his arm. This faux pas can and does easily happen with our busy schedules driving us into a frenzied mindset.

I have been known to wear the long clear tape strip with the size of the pant I recently purchased.

The manufacturers are certainly to blame for our gaffes due to all the attachments; plastic trapped in the side of the clothes item, pins holding cardboard tags together, threads tied onto other hanging dodads. You can count 5-7 pieces of extraneous labels informing us of the company/designer brand name on a single article of clothing and before you wear this thing you must get out your scissors, chew off the strings with your teeth (not recommended), pull it with all your might or in the case of this rather large man leave it on and let someone else worry about it.

These copious specially designed labels soon find their way to your garbage and eventually to the public land sites.

New clothing is always a pick me up, having something new puts us in a pleasurable state of mind. In the younger days I would keep this item intact and relish my new purchase delaying removing tags and making it used. I can still feel those old feelings coming on but with my added years behind and fewer years ahead I have adopted a different attitude. Just this morning I opted for deflowering the new fully tagged capris rather than put on the old. This move alone provided a pleasurable pick me up.

Anomalies Aplenty

When is salami not salami? Answer, when it's from Subway.

Loving Subway sandwiches and salads and other items sold at Subways stores, I happened once again into a Subway for a small sandwich. I looked over the menu and decided to buy a cold cut combo, meat turkey based. I tore into the food then realized that the meat tasted all the same, no distinctive ham or salami flavors. Next move was to open the grinder and look at the contents. The three slices of meat (?) besides tasting the same, looked alike, too.

The explanation given was that the subway I ordered was turkey based and if I wanted real salami and real ham I would have to order the Spicy Italian. The supervisor went on to say that he gets this a lot with this particular selection and offered to make me a Spicy Italian this time only. Having a yen for the real stuff I agreed and was honored with a new six incher at no cost. I walked away vindicated with a note of thanks and the statement, 'I'll know to ask more questions, next time'.

I'll continue to go to this fast food establishment as I always have. Let's hope I learned my lesson.

Now for who wins the award for the most trees killed. There is quite a competition on, what with CVS loading a customer down with tons of spewed out cash register coupons and such, along with your receipt. I have found that when the coupons come there is no stopping the machine. I have opted for e-receipts whenever I could and still with the e-types a paper receipt follows. Other stores do the same so I am not just targeting CVS, Sears, Stop and Shop, etc. These happen to be some of the stores I frequent more than Subway, and like Subway will continue to shop there, and say my peace over and over.